love, peace, softness.
when i was embedded in the darkness, i was consumed by repeatedly chewing people up
and spitting on them.
a whole tub of the stuff.
the muck and gunk of depression, jealousy, bitterness, and confusion, spat with the force of the insurmountable pressure i felt, both intrinsically and extrinsically.
it’s stunning to reflect on.
my core being is so completely about finding the light, and to think that there was a time where i was too heavy to move makes me weep for my dead selves.
i don’t have a clue about my future, but i’m okay with it. i have completely shifted, and (in a rare exclusion of modesty), it was my doing, not the world’s.
the sun’s rays did not seek me out. they did not spin to encapsulate me.
i hacked at my roots and moved myself.
i took precious, precarious care of myself, dropping my dead branches and nurturing my buds.
i still have harsh winters, but never again will i go back.
my roots gently press into place. i’m staying, earth bound.
for the moment.