Protected: on my future partner/to my final love.

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7/11/17-rerooting

love, peace, softness.

when i was embedded in the darkness, i was consumed by repeatedly chewing people up

and spitting on them.

a whole tub of the stuff.

the muck and gunk of depression, jealousy, bitterness, and confusion, spat with the force of the insurmountable pressure i felt, both intrinsically and extrinsically.

it’s stunning to reflect on.

my core being is so completely about finding the light, and to think that there was a time where i was too heavy to move makes me weep for my dead selves.

i don’t have a clue about my future, but i’m okay with it. i have completely shifted, and (in a rare exclusion of modesty), it was my doing, not the world’s.

the sun’s rays did not seek me out. they did not spin to encapsulate me.

i hacked at my roots and moved myself.

i took precious, precarious care of myself, dropping my dead branches and nurturing my buds.

i still have harsh winters, but never again will i go back.

my roots gently press into place. i’m staying, earth bound.

for the moment.