today

this one will be hard
i don’t know where to start.
i don’t want to open my soul right now to your glory.
to your goodness.
because i know it will rip and be irreparable
i will be irreparable

i knew this was coming
didn’t know it would happen so soon.
it’s been gradual
but this is definitive
concrete.
it was your decision.

maybe i need to change.
need to make a fundamental philosophical adjustment.
i need to start over.
i need to start over.
i need to start new.
i need to start over.
i need to get out
i have to get out
there is a reason for all of this
it helped me see how deep this ravine i’ve fallen into is
and the earth groans and shifts and fills in around me
fills in over me beside me under me
fills me

and i am finally where i want
i am gone and i am forgotten

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