4/13

my heart is heavy
but it clears space for my head
i want you to be happy
to live and love and revel in the beauty of your
space and surroundings

i miss you
i miss us more
i didn’t want to lose it
despite the constant, pressing
crushing, suffocating reality
of it. holding me to earthliness.
stopping me from floating into
your consciousness. reminding me
of the selfishness of that.

falling out of love is gradual
a gradient of vivity to the
pale, diluted truth of now.
it’s a smudge of water-based
paint. it’s a smear of blood now.
i hope your happiness remains
and does not follow our path.

the truth is in the silence.
i love you but i am not in love with you.
i miss that.

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